Change of Heart Read online

  “Come on Penn, it’s not that bad.”

  “Not that bad?” I spit at her. “I have nowhere to go! Where am I going to sleep tonight?”

  She shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. You’re smart. You can figure it out.” Without warning she grins. “You seem tense. You know what can help loosen you up? Really take the edge off?” She starts to reach for the plastic bag that she’d stuffed into her purse. I cut her off.

  “Don’t you dare,” I warn her.

  Abby makes a face at me. “Come on, have some fun. We’re in college, for crying out loud!”

  “No, I’m in college,” I say, “or, at least, I’m trying to be. You’re just floating around, hopping in and out of whatever night class piques your interest. We were supposed to get away from shit like this when we moved from California!”

  “That’s not very fair,” she pouts.

  “Fair?” I repeat, exasperated. “You want to talk to me about fair? How is it fair that the roommate I trusted with my rent money ends up spending it on MDMA and booze? How is it fair that I have nowhere to sleep tonight because of your stupidity?”

  Abby exhales. “Penn, you can be such a downer sometimes.”

  “No, it’s called facing reality, Abby! It’s called living in the real world, with real consequences. You think this problem will just go away with a few pills and a drink?” I snort at her in contempt. “And what happens tomorrow, pray tell? What happens when you wake up hung over next to some guy you don’t even know, and he tells you to get the hell out of his apartment? Huh? Tell me that, Abby. Tell me where you’re going to go.” I’m livid now, but I can’t help it. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you truly believe that guy you had buzzing around you earlier looks like the type who’ll take care of you in the morning. Because I seriously doubt it.”

  Abby’s face breaks during my tirade. Her eyes glisten with tears. “You don’t have to be so mean,” she whimpers.

  I shake my head in disgust. I don’t care if I’m being harsh. She needs to hear the truth. “I’m leaving, Abby. I hope to God you figure something out, because there’s no one left to bail you out of this mess.” Or me, I think sourly.

  “Wait, wait! Hold on! I have an idea!” Abby says, latching onto my wrist as I get up to leave. “You know our landlord, right? He’s cute, isn’t he? I’ve always thought he had a thing for you.”

  I rip my arm out of her grip. “You’d have me resort to prostitution?”

  “A… mutually beneficial agreement!” she defends.

  “He’s at least fifty!” I sputter.

  “Older men are more experienced.”

  I shake my head at her. “Screw you, Abby. Seriously, screw you.”

  Chapter Two

  The bad feelings are quickly flowing away as I take a sip of my Manhattan. I laugh at another one of Richard’s jokes.

  “You’re cute when you do that.”

  “Do what?” I ask.

  “The way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It makes you look kind of adorable.”

  “Adorable?” I repeat, my amusement growing.

  “Sure. It’s an endearing look.”

  I’m leaning back against the wall. Richards’s arms are on either side of me. We’ve moved away from the crowded bar to a quieter spot. I can feel the heat of his body near mine. I’ve taken off the stifling sweater and am just wearing the black tank top I had underneath. My shoulders are bare.

  “So, anonymous girl, are you really from Jersey?” Richard asks.

  I cock my head to the side and grin. “What do you think?”

  “I think not. But I also think you’re trying to be too obtuse for your own good. As it stands, I still don’t know your name, and we’ve been flirting for at least fifteen minutes.”

  “Flirting? Is that what you call this?”

  “Of course. Don’t you agree?”

  “Maybe.” I bring the glass to my lips to hide my smile. “But you caught me in a pretty bad mood at first.”

  “Rough night?”

  I shake my head. “Don’t even get me started.”

  “Let me guess. Best friend issues?”

  “Close,” I reply, surprised. “Roommate issues.”

  “Ah. Those are the worst. You live together, so it’s not like you can just get away.”

  “I don’t even know about that anymore,” I mutter.

  “Well, there is one way to make things better.”

  “Oh?” I glance up at him, and realize he’s looking deep into my eyes again. “And what’s that?”

  “Well… maybe you can find somewhere else to go.” His voice becomes husky, suggestive. “Somewhere… where you’ll be far away from all your problems.” His fingers start making small circles along my shoulder, down my arm. It feels good. I shudder, closing my eyes as he leans in to whisper in my ear. “Somewhere where nobody knows where you are. Somewhere where it’s just you, and me.”

  My eyes snap open. “No,” I say, pushing away from the wall, and widening the distance between us. “I’m not a one-night-stand type of girl.”

  He looks at me, completely unfazed. “Hold on there, little lady. Nobody said anything about me sleeping with you. You’ve got to wine and dine me first,” he jokes. “Impress me a little.” An ingratiating smile spreads across his lips. “I’m not that easy.”

  I chuckle, and take an extra second to look him over. I have to admit, Richard does look tempting. Damn sexy, even. I consider my options.

  On one hand, I have a hot guy who’s interested in me, inviting me back to his place. I don’t know him very well, but I like how I feel around him.

  On the other hand, I have an apartment key that no longer works, thanks to a roommate who got us more-or-less evicted. If it wasn’t for Richard, I’d probably still be brooding over tonight’s disastrous revelation, trying to waste what little money I had left on alcohol at the bar if my ID worked.

  Instead, here I am, forgetting my bad emotions and losing myself in an enjoyable interaction with an attractive guy. Did I really want things to end so soon? My only other choice is to go to the twenty-four-hour library and pretend to fall asleep while studying. I will not sleep at the bus stop again.

  “You know what?” I say, taking the final sip from my Manhattan before setting it down on the floor. “You’re right. Let’s get out of here. But only on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re the one who’s got to wine and dine me.”

  Richard laughs, and looks down at my drink. “I think I’ve got the first part covered.”

  ***

  “Penelope,” Richard says. “Penelope, Penelope, Penelope. Hmm. That’s totally not what I expected.”

  We are sitting across from each other at an all-night diner not far from Barren. I glance up and smile at the waitress as she brings me my water. “You sound disappointed.”

  “Disappointed? No. I was just expecting something more… exotic. You look like an Annalise. Or a Laurisse. Or maybe a Clarisse.” He waggles a finger at me. “Definitely an ‘–isse’.”

  “Just Penelope,” I shrug.

  “It’s a mouthful, too,” Richard continues. “That won’t do. I’m going to call you Penny.”

  “Fine. But I’m going to call you Rich.”

  “All my friends already do.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand. The motion is so smooth, so effortless, that I barely notice as he does it. “You know, Penny, there are three things I like about you.”

  “Is that right?” I smile.

  “Yes. Do you want me to tell you what they are?”

  I brush aside a strand of wavy hair that had fallen across my eyes. “If I say ‘no,’ would you listen?”

  Rich smirks. “You’ve got me there. But I know you won’t decline. I can see you’re curious.”

  “Fine.” I scoot my seat toward the table to bring myself closer to him. “Tell me.”

  Rich takes my hand in his and flips it over, so he’s looking at it
palm-up. He squeezes my index finger. “The first thing I like about you, Penny, is that you’ve got an energy about you. A spunkiness.” He gestures at the other patrons in the diner. “Take a look around. There’s lots of girls in here. Some of whom were at Barren with us. Very few of them have that same type of spark.”

  “Is that so?” I ask, pleased at the compliment.

  “Yes. The second thing I like about you,” he continues, pressing my middle finger between two of his, “is the way you hold yourself. You’re feisty. You’ve got fire in you. You didn’t swoon all over me when I met you in the bar.”

  I lower my head and give him a level look. “Is that what you expected to happen?”

  Rich surprises me by sitting up and laughing. “It happens more often than you might think.” He offers an impish grin. “But then again, you don’t know who I am, do you?”

  “You’re Richard, also known as Rich,” I say. “Simple as that.”

  He laughs out loud again. “What a relief!”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Why? Am I supposed to know you?” Suddenly I remember the way the bartender instantly gave him respect, and the possessive way Richard came onto me… just like he owned the place. There’d been no hesitation in his game at all.

  “No,” he says, eyes dancing. “No, you’re not.” He looks down to swirl his drink with the straw. His eyes flash up to meet mine again. I’m startled by the hunger I find in them.

  “Who are you, Richard?” I ask. “Some type of womanizer?”

  “I’ve been called worse,” he smirks.

  “Then you can take it as a compliment.”

  He smiles at me again. I find myself staring at his lips, wondering what they would taste like. He has very kissable lips.

  “You’re attracted to me,” he declares without warning.

  “What?” I say, momentarily caught off-guard by the statement.

  “You keep doing that thing with your hair… flipping it back. And you’re looking at my mouth as if you want to kiss me.”

  “I am not!” I defend, feeling a flush of heat enter my cheeks.

  Richard chuckles. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he says. “Sometimes it pays off to look for the little details. That way, we don’t have to waste time.”

  “Waste time?” I ask.

  “I study psychology,” Rich explains. “I love learning about people. Body language… It communicates so much. People think that words are what make the difference in an interaction, but that’s not true. It’s the subtleties, the small gestures, that can reveal so much about how a person feels at any moment.”

  “So what you’re saying is…?”

  “What I’m saying,” Rich smiles, “is that your reaction to my statement gives me all the confirmation I need.” He leans back triumphantly. “No matter what you might say, I know you’re already attracted to me.”

  I scoff at his arrogance and try my best to appear indifferent. But he’d read me like a book. A few minutes later, the waitress brings us our food. Before I can take a bite, Richard sweeps up my hand in his and stands up.

  “Let’s go,” he says, fire burning in his eyes.

  “Where?”

  “My apartment.”

  I don’t have time to protest as he pulls me away from our table. As soon as we’re outside, he spins me around and presses me against the glass wall. I only have the briefest sliver of a warning before his mouth dips down to cover mine. I kiss him back immediately. My hands tangle in his hair, my mouth opens to let him in, and I feel a staggering warmth grow between my legs.

  Richard’s hands trail down my bare arms, from my shoulders to my wrists, and he locks his fingers with mine in a tight grip. He’s so tall I have to stand on my toes just to reach him. It makes me feel like I’m on the verge of falling backwards, and somehow it makes kissing him all the more thrilling. The faint taste of liquor on his tongue blends with his potent masculinity. Strength and power seep into me through his kiss. I can feel him taking control.

  My resistance wanes as his tongue continues to explore my mouth. I want more of him. More of his taste, more of his smell. More of his body. I react the only way I know how—by drawing him closer to me. My heartbeat doubles, and the warmth becomes even more pronounced as I kiss him back hard.

  When I resurface on unsteady feet, I nudge him back a little. “Rich, wait,” I say. I feel dizzy, light-headed, and even a little bit crazy, making out like this with a guy I barely know in the middle of the street. “You didn’t tell me the third thing you liked about me.”

  “Oh, that?” He winks. “That, you get to find out later.”

  ***

  I’d imagine most girls would get the feeling they’re about to do something incredibly stupid when confronted with the sight of a dark, unfamiliar apartment building towering in front of them in the night, about to be pulled inside by a man they’d only known for a few hours.

  Like I said before, I’m not like most girls. Being with Rich doesn’t elicit that feeling.

  “Come on.” He tugs my hand, pulling me from the cab straight into the lobby. It’s empty, and as soon as we’re through his mouth and hands are all over me again, just like they had been during the quick ride here. His kisses are sharp, tactful, and teasing all at once. They tempt me with the promise of what is going to happen when we finally reach his room.

  There’s so much lust barreling through me that I’m amazed to be still standing. There’s barely a coherent thought left in my brain.

  I cling to Rich’s shoulders, pulling myself into him as his mouth presses down on mine. I’m aflame with anticipation of what will come next. My body feels heady but weak. It’s a thrilling combination that accentuates just how turned on I am. My heart is pounding, thundering in my chest. Each throb sends wild lashes of desire though my limbs.

  I take immense pleasure in the expert way Rich’s hands trail over my body. I delight in the way our mouths connect in aroused, volatile harmony. I love the feeling of his tight muscles beneath his clothes. I love the musky scent that trails from him every time I take a breath.

  Together, we stumble toward the elevator. Rich breaks away for a second to hit the button. The light doesn’t come on.

  “Damn,” he growls, “it’s busted again.”

  I’m one step ahead of him. I’d spotted the stairs when we entered. I grab his hand and pull him after me with no hesitation. I start up the cement stairwell, determined to get to his room as fast as possible.

  “Penny, wait.”

  I look back, confused. “What?”

  A devilish smile plays on his lips. “Only this.” Without warning his hands wrap around my waist, and I’m being lifted up as easily as if I were a doll. He turns to the side and presses my body against the wall, suspending me between him and the concrete.

  His mouth crashes down on mine again. I curl my legs around his torso, locking my ankles together, and kiss him back with the passion reserved for a lover after ten long years apart. I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m getting even more turned on. Rich’s hands move down to grasp the outside of my thighs, and I moan into his kiss as the muscles of my core clench in sinful fashion. I want him so badly. If we don’t get somewhere private soon, I won’t be wholly opposed to jumping him in public.

  I gasp as he steps away, freeing me from the wall. I start to fall, but one of his hands darts down to catch me just beneath the knees. The other one cradles my shoulders. Before I know it, I’m slung across his arms like a bride on her wedding night.

  “I’ve always wanted to carry a girl up these stairs,” Rich admits.

  I laugh, and wrap my arm around his neck. “Oh, you are just the best type of romantic.”

  Four flights of stairs later, Rich pushes open the fire door to a dimly-lit hallway. He carries me down the hall and stops in front of an entrance on the right. He sets me down, then fishes around in his jeans for the key. When the door creaks open, he sweeps a hand out in front of him. “Welcome to my humble abode.�
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  I walk in, curious about his apartment. I tend to side with the camp of people who believe that a person’s living arrangements can reveal a lot about his personality. But, I don’t find much to work with here.

  The apartment is sparse and dark. Pale moonlight filters in through the balcony window, shining down on the only piece of furniture present: a queen size mattress lying on the floor of the living room. The red brick walls are totally empty—no girly posters or other things I might expect in a bachelor’s apartment. There are no lamps, no chairs, no couches.

  After a moment, I notice a second piece of furniture: a small, old-school CRT TV camped in one corner of the studio apartment.

  Rich switches on the light. “So?” he asks, “what do you think?”

  I walk past the entrance. There’s one hall leading away from the room. It is filled with brown cardboard boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. “Did you just move in or something?”

  Rich laughs behind me. “Yeah, something like that. You want a drink?”

  “A drink?” I say. “No, I—”

  The words catch in my throat as he grabs my hips and spins me around. I had no idea he’d come so close. He’d moved from the door to me without making a sound. His fingers lock together against my lower back, and he tugs me into him, pressing my belly to his waist. I feel his growing erection right away, and a diabolical excitement builds inside me.

  Nothing happens.

  For a long moment, Richard just holds me like that, staring into my eyes as I’m left dangling off his arms. His irises are the color of sea mist. I’m myself hypnotized by the deep intensity I see brewing just beneath the surface. I have no doubt that type of intensity is mirrored in my eyes.

  Then, moving slowly, as if restraining himself, Richard lowers his mouth to cover mine. This time, his kiss is sweet and gentle. Subtle and caring. He explores my upper lip first, then traces the line going to the corner of my mouth. His lips form a perfect mold over mine.