Uncovering You 10: The Finale Read online

  “You mean, past the injections?” I ask.

  Dr. Telfair waves mention of the injections away. “The drug you’re currently taking is almost like using a blacksmith’s hammer to force a tiny loose screw. It’s blunt and imprecise. It is why there are side effects. It’s also why its efficiency will wear off in the future. To further the analogy, it’s like the screw keeps coming out. Every time it does—every time I give you an injection—it’s us taking the hammer to it again.” Dr. Telfair slams a fist into his palm with such force that I jump. “Bam! Just like that. The screw is back in, but it’s only a temporary fix. And, the surrounding area? All that span of space around the screw that bears the force of the blow? It just gets weaker and weaker and weaker, until, in the end, the mortar simply won’t allow the structure to hold the screw anymore. The hammer does excessive damage every time.

  “But,” he continues, his speech speeding faster by the second, “what we really need in this case—what we need above all—is a simple screwdriver.

  “A simple screwdriver. Any would do. Right? Go to the hardware store and pick one up. They’re a dime a dozen. All readily available. Right?”

  I nod, hesitatingly.

  “Wrong,” says Dr. Telfair triumphantly. “The screwdriver represents the plethora of drugs on the market…all the ones in production today by the big pharmaceuticals. But the thing is, Lilly: The screw…does not have an ordinary head. The threading is unique. It’s unique only to you. So an ordinary screwdriver will not do.

  “That’s what I’ve been doing, Lilly, in all my free time, in all my experiments. I’ve been trying to create the screwdriver that will forever fix the problem of the loose screw. Fix it… permanently.”

  He turns to me, then, and looks at me with an intensity I’ve only ever seen matched by Jeremy Stonehart during sex.

  “And today? This morning, while you were gone?” A smile begins to curl his lips. “I think I did it.”

  My eyes widen. “A permanent fix?” I marvel. “Why didn’t you tell me this was what you were doing before?”

  “I did not want to get your hopes up in case it never came to fruition. This was never a sure thing. But today, Lilly? Today, I think I have uncovered the key that will cleanse you of my father’s poison—for good.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  When I tell Jeremy the amazing news, his foul mood disappears. He beams at me and holds me tight. But not before saying, in a smug sort of way, “I knew he could do it.”

  The three of us celebrate that night. It’ll take time for Dr. Telfair to procure all the constituent parts needed for his new drug: Time, and production facilities of the sort that are not available here.

  So he books a flight back to America to make arrangements, while Jeremy and I stay behind.

  “It’s going to be magnificent,” Jeremy tells me, holding my hand. It is a warm, late evening and we are strolling by a lake. “Lilly. As soon as you’re cured, we’ll hold our wedding. I’ll make the celebration as grand as can be imagined.” He grabs me by the waist, twirls me around, and kisses me long and hard. “We can hold it anywhere in the world. Paris. Amsterdam. Barcelona. Whatever you choose. Whatever you want, will be yours.”

  “I don’t want all that,” I tell him honestly. “I only want you.”

  He kisses me again. “You have me, my sweet Lilly-Flower. You have me until the end of our lives. I am completely yours.”

  A few weeks pass without word from Dr. Telfair. Jeremy and I begin to worry. Did something go wrong? Did he get held up somewhere? Is the promise of a lucid, permanent future a vanished fantasy?

  But our worries prove unfounded. Dr. Telfair calls us early one morning to say he has everything and is flying back that very night.

  Neither Jeremy nor I can sleep. We’re too much excitement. Luckily, we have a good outlet.

  We have spectacular sex.

  The following day, when Dr. Telfair arrives, we celebrate his coming like it’s the return of a king.

  That night, he prepares me for what’s to come.

  “Take three of these pills upon waking every morning until they run out,” he tells me, handing me a sealed blister pack.

  I do a quick count of the pockets and find there are twenty-one. “Is this… all?” I wonder.

  He chuckles. “No, no. These will just help prepare your body for the procedure. They will help prime your cells. Make them more receptive and more likely to uptake the final medication.”

  “And what’s that?” I ask him. “What is this procedure going to be?”

  “I’m going to be making a series of five injections into different parts of your brain,” he tells me nonchalantly.

  I blink. “Excuse me? I thought you just said ‘my brain’!”

  He nods. “Yes. That’s right.”

  “But it’s surrounded by…” I make a vague sort of motion encompassing my head. “…um, you know, my skull?”

  “Yes. It’ll be a surgical procedure. I’ll have to strip away the outer layer of bone. But the active molecule in the serum is much too large to cross the blood-brain barrier. This is the only delivery system that makes it possible.”

  “But you can’t possibly perform surgery on me here?” I ask. “I mean—“

  “No. Of course, you’re right. We’ll be returning to the Hermann Grace Medical Center where I worked. Setting that up, and doing so while allowing Jeremy to come, without exposing his cover, was the most difficult part of all of this. It’s why I was in America for so long. But,” He smiles. “I got it done, and you’re scheduled in a week from now.”

  “This is all a lot to take in,” I mumble. I look back as Jeremy enters the room. “Did you know we’re going back to the states?” I ask him.

  “I do now,” he responds.

  “And that Dr. Telfair is proposing to perform brain surgery on me?”

  Jeremy frowns, but before he can say anything, the doctor speaks.

  “Actually, it’s brain injection that I’ll be doing. Not brain surgery. They’re two entirely different things.”

  Jeremy comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Is it safe?” he asks.

  Dr. Telfair nods. “I wouldn’t propose it otherwise. I’ll be delivering controlled doses of drugs to very specific areas of her brain. Lilly,” He looks at me. “the entire process will begin with a catheter guided by a sophisticated computerized trajectory system that will allow me to see exactly where the incision is being placed. I only need to make a small cut at the tip of your skull,” He taps a spot just above my forehead. “To initiate things. It’s barely a surgery at all, when viewed from that perspective.”

  He addresses his brother. “The entire procedure will take place inside an MRI machine. The serum will be infused with radioactive liquid that shows upon the machine. I will be able to monitor intake of the medications into her brain and through the rest of her body in real time.

  “There is…one tiny issue, though,” he says.

  “And what’s that?” I ask.

  “Lilly. Because of the current state of your brain chemistry, I am extremely, extremely reluctant to use any type of anesthetics. Do you understand that there are already powerful drugs floating around in your system? Well, introducing anything else that might alter your equilibrium can have unforeseen, negative effects.”

  “So what are you saying?” I ask. “That I’ll be sitting there, while you cut a hole in my skull, while I am fully conscious?”

  “Exactly that,” he confirms. “We’ll apply a numbing gel, of course. You won’t feel any pain. That’s not the part I’m worried about.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “When you’re in the MRI machine, you have to be very, very still. The slightest movement—a twitch, a yawn, a particularly deep or uneven breath—will cause my needle to move and miss the target.”

  “So what are you going to do?” I ask.

  “We’ll need to strap you in,” he says.

  My eyes wide
n. “Just like what Esteban did to me,” I say softly.

  Dr. Telfair gives a solemn nod. “Yes. I am afraid of triggering your memories. While we do this, you have to remain absolutely calm.”

  “How long will the procedure take?” Jeremy asks. His body is tense against mine. “From the moment she’s brought into the MRI machine, how long will you need?”

  “Forty seconds,” Dr. Telfair says without sliver of hesitation.

  I look up at Jeremy. “That’s not that bad…” I say.

  “Forty seconds, for each injection,” Dr. Telfair amends. He looks gravely serious now. “Remember there are five.”

  “Three minutes, twenty seconds,” Jeremy growls. “Lilly. Can you manage that?”

  “I think…”

  “There will also be a five minute lag time after each injection,” Dr. Telfair interrupts. “Time in which I need Lilly under the MRI machine to gauge the serum’s distribution through her brain.”

  I swallow hard, and look at him, wide-eyed. “You want me to be strapped on a small bed for nearly half an hour, afraid to move, terrified of what would happen if I do?”

  “In essence…” Dr. Telfair exhales. “Yes. We can delay the procedure, Lilly, until you’ve had more distance from events, more time—”

  “No!” I yelp. “No! If we’re going to do it, I want to do it now. As soon as possible. Hell, I’d do it today if I could.” I look back at Jeremy. He nods with grave approval. “I want to be rid of this thing. Rid of this…filth…for good. Until it’s gone, I’ll always feel dirty. Soiled. It’s the final step left to recover.”

  “Physically, yes,” Dr. Telfair says. “There is still the emotional, the mental trauma to deal with. But you’ve done an excellent job of that so far. I don’t anticipate any problems.”

  “Then, yes,” I nod vigorously. “Yes, I’m going to do it. Yes, we need to do it. No delays. Like ripping off a Band-Aid in one stroke. Isn’t it? Otherwise this procedure will just continue to be something looming in the distance, waiting for me to say I’m ready. Well, I’m ready now.”

  “If we wait,” Jeremy begins. I give him a hard look. He continues despite my silent protest. “If we wait, and Lilly has more time, will there be a chance you’ll allow the use of a full-body anesthetic?”

  “Never,” Dr. Telfair says. “There would be too many uncertainties. Too many variables to control. I want to reduce risk as much as possible. It’s the closest thing I can do to guarantee success.”

  “Wait a minute,” I say. “So this isn’t one hundred percent? I thought you said you designed the medication specifically for me. Coded it to my DNA…?”

  “I did,” Dr. Telfair agrees. “But this sort of procedure has never been done before. There is no precedence. Neither is there literature on your condition. This is all new, Lilly. I am as sure as I can be. But nothing is ever foolproof.” He runs a hand over his jaw, “Particularly when matters of the mind are concerned.”

  “We’re still not going to wait,” I say. “I want to do this as soon as possible. I need certainty.”

  “Lilly.” Jeremy speaks, and he sounds hesitant. “I understand your enthusiasm. But it might be better to schedule this for later.” He exchanges a look with his brother. “Have you ever been in an MRI machine?”

  “Well, no,” I say. “But I know what they look like.”

  “Do you?” Jeremy wonders. “Yet you’ve never been inside one. If we’re talking about things that can evoke memories of your kidnapping…” He exhales. “…this might be the best way to do it. I’ve been inside one. It’s not a pleasant experience. You won’t be sedated, but you’ll be strapped in. You’ll feel very claustrophobic. I did. And you’ll have to find some way to relax, because, as I understand it, precision is of utmost importance to you.” He glances at his brother. “Are you certain this is a good idea? This early? So soon?”

  “It’s her call.” Dr. Telfair nods my way. “Only she can say if she’s ready.”

  “I am!” I insist. “Jeremy, I know you’re worried.”

  “Concerned is more like it,” he says.

  “I appreciate that. But, it makes no difference. I’m as ready now as I’ll ever be. I want the procedure. I insist.”

  Jeremy nods solemnly and shares a look with his brother. “Who are we to say no to you?”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Three days later, I am inside the Hermann Grace Medical Center, in the very room where Dr. Telfair will be performing the operation.

  He invited me here so that I could acclimate myself to the operating room. It’s one big, white space with bright lights shining overhead. The floor is checkered grey and white. The MRI machine stands as the grand centerpiece, demanding all the attention.

  For the past few hours, Dr. Telfair has been showing me exactly what will happen four days from now. He has turned the machine on and let me watch it operate from the outside. Then I lay on the bed and was conveyed inside.

  It wasn’t all bad. Only the upper half of my body had to be in the circular tube. Jeremy stayed by my side and held my hand. His grip helped ward off any unpleasant memories that tried to crop up.

  But things will be different for the procedure. Jeremy won’t be allowed inside the room, for one. It will be me, Dr. Telfair, and one of his nurses.

  He introduces me to her. She’s a kind, elderly woman. Much like Rose was back when I thought of her as a friend. The difference is that she smiles and laughs much more easily. Her demeanor puts me at ease.

  The next day, we look at the straps that will be fastened to the bed to hold me in place. They are uncannily like the ones Esteban used to hold me. I shudder when my fingers brush them. But then I remind myself that I am here of my own free will, that I will only be strapped in willingly, and for a short time. Somehow, that seems enough to steady my nerves.

  They remain steady until it’s time for me to lie on the bed and have those straps attached.

  “Wait, wait! Stop!” I blurt out, after the second hold has been tightened around my arm. “Stop. Let me out.”

  My breathing is jagged as the nurse and Dr. Telfair hurry to undo the two straps holding my wrist. Jeremy watches from the far wall.

  I bolt up as soon as I can and rub at my wrists where the tight fabric dug in. “I’m sorry,” I mumble, ashamed for chickening out so early, on the very first attempt. “I…I couldn’t take it.” I draw in a slow steadying breath, grip the sides of the bed, and lie back down. “I’m better now. Let’s try it again.”

  “It’s too soon,” Jeremy opines from the distance. “We’re rushing into things.”

  I lift my head and look at him. He’s distanced from me as a way to make me more likely to agree, I think. At the time I need him most, he’s proving his worth by digging in his heels and resisting in the most passive aggressive way imaginable.

  But that just spurs me to prove him wrong.

  Shit, I think in a moment of rare reflection, maybe that’s his real purpose acting this way. He’s certainly shrewd enough to do it.

  “I’m going to do it,” I tell him. “This Friday, I’m going to do it, and we’ll move past this stain on our lives for good. Don’t you trust me?”

  Jeremy crosses his arms and sets his jaw. But when he speaks, his voice is soft. “Of course I do,” he says.

  “And we’ll get married the week after,” I tell him firmly. “So set your mind to planning that, instead of second guessing my decision here.” As I lie back down, I catch the beginning of a smirk flitter across his face. I look up at Dr. Telfair and extend my arm. “Strap me in, doc.”

  Determined to prove Jeremy wrong becomes my biggest motivation. He never liked seeing me weak before. Now, after having put enough time and space between me and the horrifying past, I’m ready to embrace the strong woman I had been once again.

  I’ve had my share of care and coddling in Italy.

  The second attempt goes much better. Only when the final strap over my forehead goes in place does my breathing becom
e labored again. Panic threatens to overcome me.

  I grit my teeth and try to will it away. But Dr. Telfair recognizes the physical signs of distress. He signals for me to be let go.

  When I am free, I stand and do a quick circle of the room, deep in thought. Determination to make the third time work pulses through me. I catch Jeremy’s brother’s eye. In the most subtle of nods, I give him my thanks for releasing me before I was forced to call for it myself—and admit my weakness to Jeremy.

  Things go without a hitch the third time. As I lie prone, helpless, and unable to move staring up at the white ceiling, I feel a strange calm wash over me.

  I can do this, I think. I can prove to Jeremy I’m strong and emerge from this nightmare forever. If this is the worst I have to face…? I almost laugh. This is nothing compared to what I’ve overcome before.

  After a stretch of ten long silent minutes, Dr. Telfair moves to release me.

  “No,” I say. My eyes flash to the top of my head, toward the gaping entrance of the MRI machine looming behind me. “I’m ready. Put me in.”

  Jeremy is at my side in an instant. “Lilly,” he says. “Don’t be stubborn. We’ve gone through enough today. Tomorrow, after you’ve rested we’ll come back here and taken the next step.

  I try to shake my head—realize that I can’t—and almost give way to irrational fear. But after a frightening moment, the black tide washes away, and all is clear.

  Seeing Jeremy’s face helped with that.

  “I’m ready,” I say. “I’ll prove it to you. Dr. Telfair? Unless you object?”

  “If that’s what you want,” he says. “Remember. If you start to panic, we can pull you out. You’re in control.”

  “Then I want to go in.”

  He nods and backs away. Jeremy fades from view, too, as the mechanism to carry me back seals up. A whirring sound fills my ears. I close my eyes.

  I open them when the bed stops moving. I’m inside a big, hollow tube. I look around me. It’s a little dark. Most of the light comes from the opening at my waist. If I strain my eyes and look down, I can see out of the machine and into the room.